If I were tasked with identifying the most confusing characters in the evangelical world, Sam Allberry would undoubtedly make the shortlist. I do not say this lightly. In fact, I only came to this conclusion after attempting to find his position on conversion therapy. The subsequent journey has been a long one, but it has also been enlightening.
Deconstructing Sam Allberry is a daunting task. Depending on who you ask, Sam will be painted in two very different lights. On the one hand, some people say he is a heretical homosexual attempting to subvert the church. On the other hand, others would describe Sam as an insightful pastor/speaker with a biblical view of morality. During my own investigation, these irreconcilable opposites were certainly problematic. The same article could be passed around by bloggers, some using it as an example of faithful teaching and others calling it subversive garbage. How can one person’s teaching provide such extreme reactions?
Analyzing Sam proves to be even more complicated when I consider his organizational reception. Despite being an Anglican, Allberry seems to have a “go anywhere” pass. His resources have appeared on Desiring God, 9Marks, ERLC, The Gospel Coalition, CS Lewis Institute, and Radical. He has been interviewed by many people, including Paul Tripp, Denny Burk, Russell Moore, and even Doug Wilson. Every major Christian publisher carries his books, and he is now taking a fellow position at the Keller Center.1https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/thekellercenter/ He was also a Ravi Zacharias International Ministries speaker. Many people associate him with the LGBT+ ministry “Living Out,” where he is listed as a founder.2https://www.livingout.org/about-us/about The casual observer is left asking: how can this man be so controversial and yet have a voice in almost every major ministry?
Contextual Chaos
When looking at the big picture, it seems that most of the confusion can be boiled down to the fact that nobody knows what Sam Allberry is. Many people say with confidence that he is a Christian, and there are just as many people who will just as confidently call him gay. Sam Allberry himself offers a very complicated identity system with many tiers.
“I am same-sex attracted and have been my entire life. By that I mean that I have sexual, romantic and deep emotional attractions to people of the same sex. I choose to describe myself this way because sexuality is not a matter of identity for me, and that has become good news. My primary sense of worth and fullfilment as a human being is not contingent on being romantically or sexually fulfilled, and this is liberating.”
Sam Allberry, at the 2017 General Synod of the Church of England 3https://evangelicalfocus.com/europe/2325/i-fell-bullied-for-being-same-sex-attracted-and-faithful-to-the-teaching-of-jesus-on-marriage
In just a few sentences, Sam introduced a system of thinking that requires copious amounts of nuance to qualify. Sam attempts to distinguish between a description versus an identity, but this is only a further level of abstraction that can apply to different contexts.
“…there have been times when the secular media have wanted to interview me about my own position on this. In some of those times, maybe three or four times, I have used the language of being gay simply because I’m either talking to someone in the secular world who is just not going to understand the language of same-sex attraction, or I’m talking to an unbelieving friend or something like that.”
Sam Allberry, “The Christian Debate over Sexual Identity” – 2018 4https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/the-christian-debate-over-sexual-identity
The emphasis on context is worrisome. Depending on the day, Sam may be a self-described gay man or a Christian with same-sex attraction. The point is not whether you are reading his work in or out of context; the point is that his self-identifying keywords change over time. On top of that, Sam’s distinction between what describes him and what defines him is painfully thin. In one article, he says that his homosexual attractions are not like being left-handed.5“One potential downside of that is people can think I’m saying there is a neutrality to those attractions. I’m certainly not saying that. I’m not saying it’s the equivalent of being left-handed or having blond hair or something like that. All I’m saying is the particular form of sexual temptation I experience is this particular kind.” – https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/the-christian-debate-over-sexual-identity In other contexts, his same-sex lusts are like being right-handed: not primary, but still a part of him.6Timestamp 58:22 – https://youtu.be/U5B64_Y-JIU?t=3502In other interviews as well, Sam admits that “all of our sexual desires are tainted by sin.” A few sentences later, in the same interview, he states: “I would be uncomfortable with the language of saying same-sex attraction is sin.”7https://modernreformation.org/resource-library/articles/our-desires-our-selves/
If you care about these distinctions, Allberry’s identity system is a nightmare to deconstruct. Sam will acknowledge that homosexual lusts are a sin but also claims that he does not need to repent of his fallen nature.8Timestamp 15:22 – https://www.dennyburk.com/qa-with-a-same-sex-attracted-pastor-sam-allberry/ Sam constantly makes paper-thin distinctions, nuancing issues even learned theologians have difficulty dissecting. I have no intention of tackling these hairline differences myself. I have found that this discussion, in particular, is often an unfruitful one.
However, I will suggest that the concept of a “gay christian” does not exist. The modern notion of same-sex attraction is predicated by the concept of a “third sex.”9https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-forgotten-history-of-the-worlds-first-trans-clinic/ Homosexual/transsexual categories exist for the sole purpose of undermining God’s act of creation (Genesis 5:2). Instead of just male and female, this framework assumes that there are many different categories of sexualities such as a “minor-attracted queer person,” or a “same-sex attracted male.” If Sam conditionally associates himself with these secular constructions, it would automatically place him outside the historic Christian faith, as it denies the most basic elements of God’s created order. I also believe that many people misunderstand the nature of the category confusion. If Sam Allberry is expressing an attraction to the act of sodomy, it would be better to use those terms rather than normalizing language that assumes transhumanist perversions. After reading many of his statements, I strongly suspect that Sam’s identity distinctions make very little sense without the concept of a “third sex.” After all, If a man claims to be celibate sodomite but continues to use the sodomite identifier, it’s pretty obvious that he either doesn’t understand Celibacy or doesn’t understand sodomy.
Singleness
I believe that a significant reason for Sam’s appeal in the evangelical world comes from his thoughts on singleness. Allberry has been writing about Celibacy for his entire ministry and appears to have found a niche in the Christian world. The fact that Sam seems to have cornered out his own space on this topic is especially intriguing, given his struggles. If you recall, I initially researched Sam Allberry to find his opinions on reparative therapy. As it turns out, I strongly suspect his views on therapy and singleness are significantly interconnected.
Sam believes that reparative therapy is not an appropriate course of treatment for a Christian struggling with homosexual attractions. He acknowledges the usefulness of counseling in some circumstances but cautions that therapy “can unwittingly imply that heterosexual feelings and marriage are the goal of the Christian life.”10Timestamp 3:20 – https://www.dennyburk.com/qa-with-a-same-sex-attracted-pastor-sam-allberry/ In fact, Sam further claims that being “heterosexualized” is not a requirement for being sanctified. If a Christian is inclined to keep these concepts together, the rest of his claims about singleness are almost incoherent. For example, Sam claims to desire a wife. He expresses longing for being a father but simultaneously forgoes developing the attractions to make these things happen!
“The focus for Christians with same-sex attraction is not primarily healing. I, for one, would love to be a husband to a wife and a father to a child. But there is a far greater longing — a more urgent priority — to know more of Christ. A ‘win’ for me is not that my attractions shift from same-sex attractions to opposite-sex attractions. For although such a change would be from unnatural desires to natural ones, the struggle with temptation would remain. The theater of battle would have moved, but the fighting would remain as fierce.”
Sam Allberry, “The Idol Behind Same Sex Desires” – January 2014 11https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-idol-behind-same-sex-desires
Sam claims that homosexual attractions and temptations are no different than heterosexual ones and, therefore, an unnecessary step in his Christian walk. I would suggest that this is not true on both counts. After all, this denies the historic Christian wisdom for those struggling with lust.
A Function Of Marriage
From a biblical perspective, it is important to remember that one function of marriage is to provide a healthy outlet for sexual desires. This is not the purpose of marriage, but it is a purpose. There are many verses to support this, but one of the most referenced verses is 1 Corinthians 7:9 – “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Getting married is a great way to resist the temptations of various sexual sins, as it provides a healthy, natural, and God-honoring outlet for these desires. According to the Westminster Confession of Faith, marriage was ordained for the mutual help of a husband and wife and, among other things, “for preventing of uncleanness” (WCF 24.2). There are many reasons to marry, but we would be remiss to forget this feature.
“Marriages have this good also, that carnal or youthful incontinence, although it be faulty, is brought unto an honest use in the begetting of children, in order that out of the evil of lust the marriage union may bring to pass some good. Next, in that the lust of the flesh is repressed, and rages in a way more modestly, being tempered by parental affection.”
St. Augustine, “Of The Good Of Marriage” 12https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1309.htm
This advice appears to be much different than the advice offered by Sam Allberry. Instead of pointing single people to a godly marriage, Sam provides a slightly different route. He starts the conversation by admitting that some people will feel their sexual desires are unfulfilled and ultimately useless. However, he then claims that the true purpose of sexuality is not actually for sex. “You can fulfill your sexuality without necessarily satisfying your sexual desires.”13https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRN69WwU4_I Like the poor woman in the youtube comments, I also was left utterly confused by this statement.
I continued my search, attempting to find out what this statement meant or even find something to explain it. Instead, I was greeted with more spiritual-sexuality nonsense: “Celibacy isn’t a waste of our sexuality; it’s a wonderful way of fulfilling it. It’s allowing our sexual feelings to point us to the reality of the gospel.”14Sam Allberry – https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/how-celibacy-can-fulfill-your-sexuality/ Once again, the reader that struggles with controlling their sexual passion is left with precious little actionable advice. If Jesus was the answer to sexual self-control (as Allberry suggests), why would 1 Corinthians 7 suggest marriage instead of the gospel? Even within the larger context, It’s hard not to see this advice to young people as a mediocre platitude at best. The gospel is not to be treated as a sort of sexual outlet. To even suggest this is very bizarre.
A State Of Celibacy
Another message that Sam consistently tries to communicate is the idea that singleness is not exclusively for those that are called to it. Instead of calling it a “gift,” Allbery chooses to focus on the term to mean something of a “state.” This is partly because he doesn’t want people importing Jesus’ words from Matthew 19:10-12 into 1 Corinthians 7:9. Sam states: “We want to honor Matthew 19 and encourage that without constraining 1 Corinthians 7.” 15Timestamp: 10:00 – https://mereorthodoxy.com/7-myths-singleness-sam-allberry/
I can understand some of Sam’s sentiments here. After all, there are times when all people will need to be single for some time, despite not possessing the “gift” of Celibacy. This can be a genuine struggle for someone who greatly desires a family. Sam purports to know these struggles. “I’ve never felt a particular ‘call’ to singleness other than knowing that it is God’s will for me for as long as I remain unmarried.” He also asserts that he has experienced the temptation to pursue an ungodly marriage because of these desires. “I do know what it is like to fall in love with someone the Bible would forbid you from marrying.” 16https://www.sayable.net/blog/2014/08/sam-allberry-pastoring-while-unmarried
While I can understand these sentiments, I can’t help but notice that Sam’s approach ignores the historic Christian teachings on this subject. In the Westminster Larger Catechism, one of the duties required by the seventh commandment is: “marriage by those that have not the gift of continency.” 17http://thewestminsterstandards.com/wlc-138-what-are-the-duties-required-in-the-seventh-commandment/ If you do not have a particular gift of self-constraint in sexual matters, the seventh commandment gives you instructions to marry. John Calvin also affirms these concepts in his commentary on Matthew.
“If any man thinks it advantageous for him to want [i.e. lack] a wife, and, without making any inquiry, lays upon himself an obligation to celibacy, he is widely mistaken. God, who has declared it to be good that a man should have a woman to be his helper, will punish the contempt of his own appointment; for mortals take too much on themselves, when they endeavor to exempt themselves from the heavenly calling. But Christ proves that it is not free to all to make what choice they please, because the gift of continence is a special gift; for when he says that all are not capable of receiving it, but those to whom it is given, he plainly shows that it was not given to all.”
John calvin, “Commentary on Matthew 19:10-12”18https://purelypresbyterian.com/2019/06/10/folly-of-a-celibate-life-without-the-special-gift/
By nuancing the historic Christian understanding of a celibate life, Sam undermines the duties required of Christians. If you have strong sexual desires, you are not given a choice in the matter – you must pursue a godly marriage.
Final Thoughts
I know there are a lot of people that would immediately discount Sam’s opinions based on his identity crisis. In that sense, I tend to agree. Most of his statements regarding his own sexuality are confusing at best. It’s hard to look at Romans 1:26-28 and think that sodomite orientations are normal parts of the Christian life. In the words of Rushdoony: “Homosexuality is thus the burning out of men and women; it is an end of the line situation.”19R.J. Rushdoony, “Romans and Galatians” p. 16 I am well aware of the fact that Christians of all kinds will struggle in all sorts of ways. Still, If these same-sex lusts are truly the inevitable results of a reprobate mind, we must do everything possible to reverse it. If Sam truly wanted to get married, why does he resist reparative therapy? Calling homosexuals to celibacy is an excellent start, but if we don’t relay all of God’s commands, we are not doing all we can to help.
In Proverbs 18:22, we are told that “He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and receiveth favor of the Lord.” After spending some time listening to and reading Sam Allberry, I am inevitably left wondering: do his vile affections prevent him from receiving the Lord’s favor? If these unnatural lusts function as a sort of castration, then Allberry should have no hesitation in affirming his calling to a life of Celibacy. If, however, these vile lusts can be reversed through sanctification and reparative therapy, then Sam will need to acknowledge his obligations: “be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28)
Some very personal elements of this discussion prevent me from overthinking it. I can never know the exact reasoning behind a person’s decisions. I can, however, find frustration in what he emphasizes. The way he speaks about these subjects makes me wonder if he has any intention of fulfilling God’s commands. “Marriage is not ultimate, but it points to the thing that is. Marriage itself is not meant to fulfill us, but to point to the thing that does.” 20Sam Allberry – https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/how-celibacy-can-fulfill-your-sexuality/
Marriage is meant to be sexually fulfilling. If we are not given the specific gift of continence, we are told to find sexual fulfillment in marriage. Sam claims that marriage is not ultimate but does not clarify that marriage is the ultimate human relation. God gave it, and the fruits of it are good! When discussing Celibacy, Charles Hodge was keen to note the importance of marriage to society.
“It is thus taught that the marriage relation is the most intimate and sacred that can exist on earth, to which all other human relations must be sacrificed.”
Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Book 3, page 870
Of course, single people will feel like they are missing out on something – they are! This is not to disparage a person’s social status but to encourage home building. The marriage relationship takes precedence over all other human relationships. When discussing these things, we would be doing everyone a disservice by suggesting intimacy, closeness, and sexual fulfillment can all be satisfactorily obtained without the marriage covenant. If we reduce singleness vs. marriage to a personal choice, we ignore the commands of God. If a man was not given the specific gift of continency, then it is not good for man to be alone.
“The desire for sex is central to filling the world with the image of God. Our desires — when submitted to God’s created order — compel us to extend God’s rule, and to fill His world with more image-bearers.”
Michael Foster, “It’s Good To Be A Man” – page 34
Sources:
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- 4
- 5“One potential downside of that is people can think I’m saying there is a neutrality to those attractions. I’m certainly not saying that. I’m not saying it’s the equivalent of being left-handed or having blond hair or something like that. All I’m saying is the particular form of sexual temptation I experience is this particular kind.” – https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/the-christian-debate-over-sexual-identity
- 6Timestamp 58:22 – https://youtu.be/U5B64_Y-JIU?t=3502
- 7
- 8Timestamp 15:22 – https://www.dennyburk.com/qa-with-a-same-sex-attracted-pastor-sam-allberry/
- 9https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-forgotten-history-of-the-worlds-first-trans-clinic/
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14Sam Allberry – https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/how-celibacy-can-fulfill-your-sexuality/
- 15Timestamp: 10:00 – https://mereorthodoxy.com/7-myths-singleness-sam-allberry/
- 16
- 17http://thewestminsterstandards.com/wlc-138-what-are-the-duties-required-in-the-seventh-commandment/
- 18
- 19R.J. Rushdoony, “Romans and Galatians” p. 16
- 20
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